Fred Fashion 101



This brave soul looking off into the Fred future.

Fred fashion is an interesting thing...

Everybody starts somewhere in their cycling wardrobe. The initial purchases of shorts (Because you are unaware of the invention of bibs and why they are so far superior.) and a jersey that's 2 sizes to big because you're to embarrassed to be seen in the shorts.

The next thing is socks and shoes. Here again you usually get the wrong type of shoes. Because it seems like getting a pair of shoes to ride with should be super simple. But it never is. MTB or road? Velcro, buckles or BOA? Blah, blah, blah.

 All these things are then followed by a jacket and for what ever reason the first jacket we all get (Yes, I was a Fred initially too.) is a bright yellow or green one. The logic being that we want to be seen on the road. Which is a sound idea. But it can get worse.

A lot worse...

The next thing they do is get a rear view mirror...



I call BS, and say its the grey matter between your ears...

 The logic of this picture is exactly the problem with the mirror.  The mirror in and of itself is also a sound idea (Although a dorky one...). The problem is that people rely on them WAY to heavily. I've ridden with plenty of people with rear view mirrors on that they are busy looking through that tiny ass little space. Never mind that you could hide a fleet of Mack trucks in the area that it doesn't cover. Or that even in a car you are suppose to turn your head and look before moving. To me they are just an excuse not to physically look behind you. And in my mind that's a big fat fail.

After the rear view mirror they usually clutter up their handle bars with all kinds of technology (Because they need to know what and where and how and why they are riding a bike I guess.



This guy is of course missing his iPhone attachment. Because unless your ride is on Strava. It doesn't count...

Freds rarely opt of the "less is more" type attitude. More is always more in their eyes.

Next.

BAGS!!!

Bags are the (I believe.) number one reason Fred's get into cycling. First you have the saddle bag...



Usually the larger and more expandable the better.

I mean where else are you going to put your two extra tubes, CO2, multi-tool, patch kit, gels, car keys, scissors, small ferret, gardening shears, a Kindle and a liverwurst sandwich!?

But a true blue Fred won't stop there. Oh, no! They want a bento box...



Fred's have to find a place to carry their chap stick and extra gels (Can't fit them all in the saddle bag.).

 Then if the ride is more than 62 miles (Metric century in Fred speak.) they also want a handlebar bag.



Please note that you will always have a spot for your awesome 90's cell phone...

This bag is mostly for your camera, tripod, ear warmers, arm warmers, cell phone (As noted.) and extra gels...

But the true fashion Fred's for the 2012-2013 fashion season seem to be favoring fanny packs.



As this young Fred is demonstrating. The mobility of the fanny pack is what's key. I'm also really enjoying his combination of aerodynamics with the TT helmet, the high visibility belt (I can only assume he left his jacket in the saddle bag.) as well as the extra caring capacity that comes with the fanny pack. One can only assume he's keeping personal belongings in there. Like his wallet, extra cell phone (In case the 90's cell phone battery dies.) ID and extra gels...

Please understand that like any good scientist. I'm just here to judge... I mean observe and record my findings. Come up with your own hypothesis and enjoy viewing these beautiful creatures out in the wild.

Thanks for reading.

Rubber side down,

Big E