Tuesday, November 16, 2010

A Comedy of Errors: Part 1

Hey Everybody! Sorry it's been so long since I put up a post. I've been sick the last week and with all the snot and drool that has come out of my face it must have done something to my computer as well because it seems to have been taken over some rogue malware too. So with all this tomfoolery taken care of (hopefully) we can get back to the business at hand which is making good cycling blog. 

There has been many a cyclocross race happening since we last spoke. The Applecore Cross race here in town at the EZ Orchards farm was a grand success! It was a great venue for the races and what better way to enjoy a day of cross than an apple donut and an espresso. And then if you felt like it (which of course I did) you wash all that down with a bratwurst or corndog (Mmmm. Corndog...).

As far as the actual racing. It was kind of a comedy of errors for me. I didn't recon the course. At all. I mean I didn't even look at the thing before I started (I just can't seem to figure out why I don't do well at these things). I lined up at the start with about 10 minutes worth of warm up and maybe 2 hard accelerations prior to the gun going off. To my surprise I got the hole shot. This maybe because of my massive power (not likely) or because everyone noticed I had my GoPro camera on and just wanted to be in the frame before they pass me laughing (much more likely). But regardless I did get a total of one half of a lap in the grand open air of the front before people started passing me in droves.Which initially I was fine with. I tend to like to hang back in races and wait for my moment (Hahahaha! Just kidding. I just GO in cross. Then blow up, recover, and repeat.)

But after the first lap mechanical things started happening. Bad mechanical things. First I noticed a little skipping in some of the lower gears. Which wasn't such a big deal because the course is pretty flat. But then some of the higher gears started to do the same thing. Then I couldn't shift out of the little ring up front. And all the while people are passing me with a look on their faces like I'm the nerdy guy who just crashed the cool kid's party in high school (not that I would know anything about that....) Or dropped a turd in their punch bowl at prom or something. The chain kept skipping until I discovered one gear that would not do it. And anytime I tried to shift out of that gear the chain would hop and skip until I put it back in that gear. Meh. What can you do?

So it just became a race of attrition at that point. Just keep pedaling until the race is over. I had some lovely company (Thanks Steve!) during the suffer fest. He even offered to wear my helmet for a while so I could be in the shot (Ah, isn't that nice?) But I politely declined because I just couldn't bear the idea of pour Steve having to put my nasty sweaty helmet on just so I could have my Alfred Hitchcock'esque (Yes, I am comparing myself to Hitchcock. What?!) cameo in my own film. (Please don't ask where all this supposed footage is. I'm acquiring it all up to create my own cyclocross version of Citizen Kane. So be prepared.) We finished out the race together and I took a look at my drive train just to see what the deal was. It wasn't even that dirty! Grrr. Sometimes just a little mud, a sprinkling of sand, and a dash of grass is all it takes to make for very poor bike race. Oh well, life moves on.

Tomorrow I'll discuss Part 2 of the comedy of errors. Cross Crusades Washington County fairgrounds. Thanks for reading.

Rubber side down,

Big E

Friday, November 5, 2010

Cyclist's Fighting

Note: I suck (not that that is a shocker or anything). I couldn't figure out how to get the HD footage on here from Astoria last weekend. However redemption is at hand! This weekend I have two, count'em, TWO cross races. I shall record both. Especially since I don't now how much longer the man will allow me too. Hopefully my computer will like the smaller video files much better. 



The good ol' Badger having nothing to do with some protesters at the Tour de France.

There is something inherently hilarious about cyclists fighting. I don't know if its the fact that you have a guy that's 5' 5" tall and 130lbs soaking wet with a brick in his pocket trying to act tough. Or if it's the spandex and shoes skittering about trying to hit or avoid getting hit. All I know is that is makes me laugh.

 
Michael Rogers giving it to a shloog at the Tour of California.


Barredo and Costa getting it on wheel style at the Tour de France this year.

Sometimes even when a driver cuts me off and I manage to catch them at the next light. When I'm busy yelling profanity or, eh, um, trying rationally to explain to the person that they just about killed me back there (Neither of these tactics are really recommended BTW. In all my years I've had one driver listen, apologize and move on amicably. But usually they either start yelling back or look at you like they have no idea what you're talking about). I think in the back of my head how ridiculous this must all look to any by stander. I guess it's just the way of the rider. If you have skinny wheels and tights on you are never going to be a bad ass. Unless you like this~




So remember kids. Save the yelling and punching for the ring. Or at least have the decency to wait until you have street clothes on to throw down. You know, like normal people.

The Badger has spoken....

 

Rubber side down,

Big E



Wednesday, November 3, 2010

You Don't Owe Me Anything Floyd

Quick note: The video of the Cross Crusade race is proving to be smarter than me (which isn't hard). I guess I recorded it in the HD setting and my computer isn't powerful enough to run it. Soooo, I'm going to try to download it from a friend's computer and see what happens. In the future I'll record in a lower resolution that hopefully my computer can handle.

Floyd Landis at the New Pathways for Pro Cycling conference in Australia

I'm often a little apprehensive to forgive and forget. But sometimes it just seems like the right thing to do.

When news broke that Floyd Landis had tested positive for synthetic testosterone I hopped right onto the Floyd band wagon. I wanted to believe him. In a lot of ways I needed to believe him.

I had watched so many other racers be caught and tried be a system that was designed to convict and nothing else. You can read some of my opinions here. It just didn't seem right. So I went out and bought Floyd's book and donated (a very small sum) to the Floyd Fairness Fund. If for no other reason than showing support to someone who was trying to take it to the "man" in some way.

But even back then I was developing an uneasy feeling in the back of my brain that Floyd may have cheated. I wasn't fully committed to the idea at the time. It was just a few little things. Like in all the confusing stuff written in his book Positively False. He never really came out with a cut and dry reason why or how synthetic testosterone showed up in his system. It was more telling on why the system and testing procedure is so screwed up (which I full agree with).

So when I read that he had come out with a doping confession and had implicated others it wasn't a complete shock. It was sad, but not surprising.

I guess I can understand someone feeling guilty and wanting to clear their conscience. I'm sure all of us have done things that we aren't proud of. And to have the courage to come out and say something about it. Knowing full well that you will be a pariah deserves some respect.

The part about all this that bugged me and I just couldn't find it in my heart to forgive was the fact that Floyd took money from innocent people for his own personal gain even though he knew he was guilty. But now that he has come out with his pledge to pay donors back. So know even that part of my feelings towards him is starting to soften. What can I say. I like the guy (or I'm really gullible).

So I guess in this some what long winded kind of way. What I'm saying Floyd is, don't worry about paying me back. I'm good. Live your life the best way you see fit. Be an honorable man. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. And all will be forgiven on my side (as tiny and insignificant as that part is).

Go out there and ride you bike. Keep kicking butt. Everything will eventually turn out OK.

The two escapees have been caught and Floyd Landis of Orca Velo Marino tries to establish a new break.

P.S. This is a good ESPN article about all this. You should go read it. It's alright, I'll wait... See. I told you.

Rubber side down,

Big E

Monday, November 1, 2010

Astoria Cross Crusade Recap

Just a quick mention that I did take video of the race and hopefully I will have that up tomorrow or the next day. Please stay tuned.



What a long and strange trip that was...

It all started with the drive over there. I ended up leaving the house at 6 pm on Saturday for the trip over to Astoria. It pissed rain the entire time (I'm beginning to notice a really big trend with driving to Cross Crusade events). God bless the person who invented those little reflective bumps in the middle of the road. Because the reflective poles on the side and those bumps was all I could see through the standing water all over the road. But I still managed to get there in one piece.

Once I got to the parking lot and pulled into the back area. I set about rolling out my sleeping bag and pad in the back of the van. It worked out pretty well all said and told. I never really sleep very well in a sleeping bag but I was very grateful for it and the van as I can only imagine the ones who were in tents were having a nautical experience that night. So I hopped into my insulated restraining system and fell asleep counting cyclists jumping over orange barriers (Ok. You're right. That is cheesy. Sorry.)

When my alarm went off the next morning I was thrilled to see bright blue sky and hardly any wind. A huge contrast to the previous night.  I made myself some breakfast. Then went up to the Crusade Village to see who was around and sign up for my race.

After getting all that done I checked out the course. And as I  feared from last years race it's supper technical and all up and down. A big guy (There's a reason I named this blog Big E) such as myself is going to have a tough time of it. So I reserved myself to trying hard but not taking the results to seriously.

I headed back down to the van to get in my costume and warm up. I went with a pretty simple costume (I know, I should put more time and energy into it). I was a hick mechanic named Earl (A real stretch I assure you. LOL). I had the mullet, a blacked out tooth, and coveralls. It was reasonably easy to ride in but holy crap was I hot by the end of the race! There was a guy in a gorilla costume. I honestly don't know how he did it. I would have died from dehydration in that thing (kudos to you man)!

So this race was the grand experiment with the video camera that I won from the cross race the week before. I have looked at the footage and it's spotty at best. So hopefully I can do some editing on the it and have it here on a post Tuesday or Wednesday (Sorry Dave. I'm just not fast enough with technology).

I headed to the start and fiddled with the camera several times before I managed to get it going. Taking several still pictures of myself in the process. Having a camera pointed up at you while you are looking down at it is NOT a flattering angle (just in case you were wondering).

So my number was the second to last to be called up (again). But considering everything it probably was just as well. The only thing that kinda bummed me out was that meant I wasn't going to capture as much of the race as I would have liked. Meh. What do you do?

The race itself was kind of a painful blur. But the highlights were falling and sliding several times. Sucking in a fairly unhealthy amount of synthetic wig hair. And really enjoying watching all the cool people in their costumes on the side of the course cheering us on (I especially want to thank the dominatrix lady for the whipping (Thank you madame may I have another!?) and the lady in the orchard for the fist bumps (with a severed hand).

After I finished up and cleaned up. I grabbed something to eat and headed back up to the races to watch and support a couple of friends. Watching the other races was pretty interesting. There were several places where I couldn't find the proper line during my race to save my soul. The exit out of the horse crap pile was one and the entry into the orchard was another. But watching the other races made me fell a little better. At least I wasn't the only one having a hard time.

So after that I headed out of town and back home. It was a long drive and night for a fun race with a lot of crazy cool people. I'm glad I did it. Now if I could just figure out how to maintain momentum...

Rubber side down,

Big E

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Those Crazy Austrailians

Rene Haselbacher was a bit stunned after his kangaroo encounter mid-race

I've always heard that those Australians were crazy. But after reading about and looking at photographs from the Crocodile Trophy I'm convinced of it.

Doing a 10 stage mountain bike race in Northeastern Australia is crazy. A bagillion (that's a lot in case you were wondering) miles away from everything. Where you are in the lap of luxury after every stage. A beautiful pup tent, a mat, a sleeping bag, and a free kangaroo to keep you warm (sign me up!) every night.

But that isn't really the greatest part of it all. The best part is being involved in all the new genres of the sport.

Take these for example:
The peloton is passed during stage 6.

You get to play chicken (Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome style) with on coming traffic (Who runs Barter town!?).*


The riders had to go under an fence

Since this is cyclocross season and Australia is on the underside of the world. I guess it only makes sense that they would go under the barriers instead of over them. I think we should all try this style! I can see all the skills clinics out there teaching dismount and mounting techniques along with limbo lessons. It's perfect!


A line of racers through Granite Gorge

Now this is the type of racing I could get into. It's like walking your dog, only it's your bike. I like it! In fact this may be the best type of racing for me. I've got mad skillz with a shopping cart at the store (just ask my wonderful wife). And really how much different could it be!? I mean besides the climbing and nature and all. It's practically identical!

So who's with me!? Let's take our ques from our good mates down under and give these things a try! *


*Please don't actually go out and play chicken with traffic. I tried it once and it ended very badly. Not recommended. Also, if you are still going to go out and play Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome remember grab as many of the weapons off the dome as possible. It's the only way...

Rubber side down,

Big E

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A Blog Post From Tom Zirbel I Think You Should Read

I thought this was a really interesting blog post from Tom Zirbel that brings some very valid points about the way doping cases are handled by the UCI and different national governing bodies.

Many of these cases seem black and white when you are just given a small amount of information. But when the whole picture is revealed it shows the infinite shades of gray in between.

To have a set of rules that are so absolutely cut and dry. It creates a far greater chance of innocent people falling through the cracks. Than if we go on a case by case basis and allow the experts on both sides to hash it out and come up with a rational decision. That's how I see it anyway.

Please give it a read: http://tomzirbel.blogspot.com/

Rubber side down,

Big E

Cross Crusade PIR 2010 Race Report

 I don't know about the rest of you. But race prep for me usually starts the day before. Figuring out what gear I'm going to need to take, what the weather report is, driving directions, doing final check on the bike, pinning my race number, making sure I have cash, gas, cowbell and all the other stuff that makes the day of a race go alot smoother. I love lists. As you can tell from a few of my previous posts here, here, and here. I guess I'm anal retentive. Pff, whatever. 

But as prepared as you can be sometimes the biggest battle you do all day long is the one to get out of bed. That's kinda how my day started. The alarm went off at 6 am and all I could hear was the rain falling and the wind blowing. And just for a couple of seconds (OK, minutes) I played the little game. Do I really want to do this? I'm in a nice warm bed and a beautiful woman next to me. It's just one race. There will be more... But that only lasts for a second.

 Soon I remembered that that glory out on the race course isn't just going to grab itself. So I'm up and getting dressed and eating my pre-race meal and puttering around (Am I the only one who does this besides really old people?). I hop into the car. Go get some coffee (Mmmm. Coffee.) and I'm off to the races.

On the drive up I'm noticing a couple of things. First, I was getting great gas mileage. Probably from the 20-30 mph tailwind I had the whole way up there. Second, that every once in a while there would be a deluge of such mammoth proportions that I almost felt the need to pull the car over and wait it out (this was a theme that seemed to follow through pretty much the whole day).

Once I got to PIR and parked (The lot is a long way away from the actual course.) I paid my money and started to recon the course. It was very similar to last years course which made me feel a little better. Fat guys don't like a lot of hills...

I came across the Capitol Velo, Buy Local and The Bike Peddler tent complex (special velvet roped VIP area included) . So I stopped by to say hello to the boys and girls and hangout for a while.

That is one of my favorite things about cyclocross. It's the hanging out between races. Talking, cheering on the other racers and just the general party atmosphere of it all. Even when its pissing rain and you have to hold the tent down to keep it from blowing away (yes that part happened). Good times!

So I was at the Capitol Velo tent until right before my race just trying to stay warm. I made my way through the cattle call that is Cross Crusade races (100+ starters in my race, almost 200 in the Master 35+ race!). Unfortunately I've never placed high enough to get a real call up so I have to wait it out with everyone else for my number (They use the last digit in your race number to call you up. It's suppose to be random and fair but I always seem to end up somewhere in the back.) to be called. I ended up in the middle back. Meh, what can you do?

Once the race was under way I started to pass quite a few people. Which always feels good. I mean, at least I whooped up on somebody! But the course was already pretty chewed up from the Beginners. And then after about 2 laps from our field it was really sloppy. The wind howled almost the entire time. I was always really grateful for the tailwind and cursing the headwind. So I guess it evened out in the end.

The course is flat which always helps me (please refer to fat guy rule). The technical sections were a definite learning process. It took almost the entire race to figure out the proper lines to take. But it was very gratifying to at lease get them down eventually. I guess practice does make perfect.

But on the second lap the coolest thing happened... I won a GoPro camera!



There is a contest within the race. If you catch the Black Knight (a guy on a bike with flags in his back pocket) and grab one of his flags you win a camera. But the thing is he cheats. He can pop in and off the course anytime he wants to. And I just happened to be lucky enough to have him appear right after the bleachers about 20 yards in front of me and I sprinted up to him and grabbed a flag. To surreal....

To be sure there will be some video posted up here using it in the near future! I'm a bit technically retarded (You should have seen me trying to set this blog up. Sheesh.) But I'm going to try and get a little footage from the Halloween Cross Crusade race next weekend.

Back to the race...

So I had a great time. Got pretty muddy and wet (although nothing like the later racers ended up). Ended up a little forward of a mid pack finish. Didn't break me or my bike and got to hang out and enjoy the spectacle. Good times! Thanks for reading.

Rubber side down,

Big E