Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Monster Cookie Part 2: The Fred's Are Everywhere!

Neon green as far as the eyes could see.
So like I alluded to in yesterday's post I have a few elitist observations about yesterdays Monster Cookie ride.

The first one is the huge variation and uses for neon green/yellow. I had no idea that you could make jackets, jerseys, tights, gloves, booties , wrist and arm bands, helmet covers, and adult diapers out of this truly versatile material. I have never seen so much neon (Outside of a strip joint in Vegas) in my life. It was like waves of it. I felt like I could body surf on the stuff as we floated down the road. Cascading into a sea of frothy neon green. Truly a sight to behold. Please don't get me wrong. I'm all for safety. I just don't subscribe to the "Caution Flagger Ahead" fashion sense. That's all.

That being said I probably couldn't attempted my body surfing because they surely would have seen me with all the rear view mirrors. I shit you not. I saw one guy with one on his helmet, one on each side of his handle bars as well as one on the left bar end. An awe inspiring sight. So long as you weren't blinded by the reflection of the sun beaming square into your eyes. A singed cornea is no joke. And as my Momma always said. It's all fun and games until someone looses and eye. Or a testicle....

But I think the most interesting thing that I noticed was a tremendous resurgence in the use of fanny packs. It seems fanny packs are the new camelbaks

I saw a ton of them out there. I guess everyone else was having the same dilemma as I was yesterday on what to do with all the extra clothing that you peal off as the temperature starts to rise.  Lord knows you can't use your pockets. That's just crazy talk.

The old way was to ride around with a camelbak filled with all your assorted sundries and nick knacks.  But as with all things with in the cycling fashion elite its fallen out of favor this year (They were soooo 2010.). And has been replaced with the ever so much more hip fanny pack. I mean how can you argue with this~

I feel more awesome just looking at it.

I always see other caring devices too. Like people riding with humongous saddle bags. Or a handle bar bag. Or even a set of panniers. Although I don't understand what on earth people would need to carry on a fully supported ride that's 62 mile long. Lets do some math here.  If you were absolutely creeping along at 10 mph it still would only take you 6 hours to complete the whole thing. With three stops evenly distributed along the ride. That would be no more than 2 hours between stops. Unless you have a full change of clothes, a vat of chamois cream, a bottle of wine, (Or beer. Mmmm, beer...) a spare set of rear view mirrors ( You never know when one could accidentally fall off.) and a roasted chicken dinner with all the trimmings. I really don't think any of these cavernous bags are necessary.

But what the hell do I know. People seem to need them. I see them on every event ride I've ever written. I wonder what they know that I don't? Hmmm. This may require more research. Until next time...

Rubber side down,

Big E

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