Tuesday, November 16, 2010

A Comedy of Errors: Part 1

Hey Everybody! Sorry it's been so long since I put up a post. I've been sick the last week and with all the snot and drool that has come out of my face it must have done something to my computer as well because it seems to have been taken over some rogue malware too. So with all this tomfoolery taken care of (hopefully) we can get back to the business at hand which is making good cycling blog. 

There has been many a cyclocross race happening since we last spoke. The Applecore Cross race here in town at the EZ Orchards farm was a grand success! It was a great venue for the races and what better way to enjoy a day of cross than an apple donut and an espresso. And then if you felt like it (which of course I did) you wash all that down with a bratwurst or corndog (Mmmm. Corndog...).

As far as the actual racing. It was kind of a comedy of errors for me. I didn't recon the course. At all. I mean I didn't even look at the thing before I started (I just can't seem to figure out why I don't do well at these things). I lined up at the start with about 10 minutes worth of warm up and maybe 2 hard accelerations prior to the gun going off. To my surprise I got the hole shot. This maybe because of my massive power (not likely) or because everyone noticed I had my GoPro camera on and just wanted to be in the frame before they pass me laughing (much more likely). But regardless I did get a total of one half of a lap in the grand open air of the front before people started passing me in droves.Which initially I was fine with. I tend to like to hang back in races and wait for my moment (Hahahaha! Just kidding. I just GO in cross. Then blow up, recover, and repeat.)

But after the first lap mechanical things started happening. Bad mechanical things. First I noticed a little skipping in some of the lower gears. Which wasn't such a big deal because the course is pretty flat. But then some of the higher gears started to do the same thing. Then I couldn't shift out of the little ring up front. And all the while people are passing me with a look on their faces like I'm the nerdy guy who just crashed the cool kid's party in high school (not that I would know anything about that....) Or dropped a turd in their punch bowl at prom or something. The chain kept skipping until I discovered one gear that would not do it. And anytime I tried to shift out of that gear the chain would hop and skip until I put it back in that gear. Meh. What can you do?

So it just became a race of attrition at that point. Just keep pedaling until the race is over. I had some lovely company (Thanks Steve!) during the suffer fest. He even offered to wear my helmet for a while so I could be in the shot (Ah, isn't that nice?) But I politely declined because I just couldn't bear the idea of pour Steve having to put my nasty sweaty helmet on just so I could have my Alfred Hitchcock'esque (Yes, I am comparing myself to Hitchcock. What?!) cameo in my own film. (Please don't ask where all this supposed footage is. I'm acquiring it all up to create my own cyclocross version of Citizen Kane. So be prepared.) We finished out the race together and I took a look at my drive train just to see what the deal was. It wasn't even that dirty! Grrr. Sometimes just a little mud, a sprinkling of sand, and a dash of grass is all it takes to make for very poor bike race. Oh well, life moves on.

Tomorrow I'll discuss Part 2 of the comedy of errors. Cross Crusades Washington County fairgrounds. Thanks for reading.

Rubber side down,

Big E

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