What a long and strange trip that was...
It all started with the drive over there. I ended up leaving the house at 6 pm on Saturday for the trip over to Astoria. It pissed rain the entire time (I'm beginning to notice a really big trend with driving to Cross Crusade events). God bless the person who invented those little reflective bumps in the middle of the road. Because the reflective poles on the side and those bumps was all I could see through the standing water all over the road. But I still managed to get there in one piece.
Once I got to the parking lot and pulled into the back area. I set about rolling out my sleeping bag and pad in the back of the van. It worked out pretty well all said and told. I never really sleep very well in a sleeping bag but I was very grateful for it and the van as I can only imagine the ones who were in tents were having a nautical experience that night. So I hopped into my insulated restraining system and fell asleep counting cyclists jumping over orange barriers (Ok. You're right. That is cheesy. Sorry.)
When my alarm went off the next morning I was thrilled to see bright blue sky and hardly any wind. A huge contrast to the previous night. I made myself some breakfast. Then went up to the Crusade Village to see who was around and sign up for my race.
After getting all that done I checked out the course. And as I feared from last years race it's supper technical and all up and down. A big guy (There's a reason I named this blog Big E) such as myself is going to have a tough time of it. So I reserved myself to trying hard but not taking the results to seriously.
I headed back down to the van to get in my costume and warm up. I went with a pretty simple costume (I know, I should put more time and energy into it). I was a hick mechanic named Earl (A real stretch I assure you. LOL). I had the mullet, a blacked out tooth, and coveralls. It was reasonably easy to ride in but holy crap was I hot by the end of the race! There was a guy in a gorilla costume. I honestly don't know how he did it. I would have died from dehydration in that thing (kudos to you man)!
So this race was the grand experiment with the video camera that I won from the cross race the week before. I have looked at the footage and it's spotty at best. So hopefully I can do some editing on the it and have it here on a post Tuesday or Wednesday (Sorry Dave. I'm just not fast enough with technology).
I headed to the start and fiddled with the camera several times before I managed to get it going. Taking several still pictures of myself in the process. Having a camera pointed up at you while you are looking down at it is NOT a flattering angle (just in case you were wondering).
So my number was the second to last to be called up (again). But considering everything it probably was just as well. The only thing that kinda bummed me out was that meant I wasn't going to capture as much of the race as I would have liked. Meh. What do you do?
The race itself was kind of a painful blur. But the highlights were falling and sliding several times. Sucking in a fairly unhealthy amount of synthetic wig hair. And really enjoying watching all the cool people in their costumes on the side of the course cheering us on (I especially want to thank the dominatrix lady for the whipping (Thank you madame may I have another!?) and the lady in the orchard for the fist bumps (with a severed hand).
After I finished up and cleaned up. I grabbed something to eat and headed back up to the races to watch and support a couple of friends. Watching the other races was pretty interesting. There were several places where I couldn't find the proper line during my race to save my soul. The exit out of the horse crap pile was one and the entry into the orchard was another. But watching the other races made me fell a little better. At least I wasn't the only one having a hard time.
So after that I headed out of town and back home. It was a long drive and night for a fun race with a lot of crazy cool people. I'm glad I did it. Now if I could just figure out how to maintain momentum...
Rubber side down,
Big E
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