Quick note: The video of the Cross Crusade race is proving to be smarter than me (which isn't hard). I guess I recorded it in the HD setting and my computer isn't powerful enough to run it. Soooo, I'm going to try to download it from a friend's computer and see what happens. In the future I'll record in a lower resolution that hopefully my computer can handle.
I'm often a little apprehensive to forgive and forget. But sometimes it just seems like the right thing to do.
When news broke that Floyd Landis had tested positive for synthetic testosterone I hopped right onto the Floyd band wagon. I wanted to believe him. In a lot of ways I needed to believe him.
I had watched so many other racers be caught and tried be a system that was designed to convict and nothing else. You can read some of my opinions here. It just didn't seem right. So I went out and bought Floyd's book and donated (a very small sum) to the Floyd Fairness Fund. If for no other reason than showing support to someone who was trying to take it to the "man" in some way.
But even back then I was developing an uneasy feeling in the back of my brain that Floyd may have cheated. I wasn't fully committed to the idea at the time. It was just a few little things. Like in all the confusing stuff written in his book Positively False. He never really came out with a cut and dry reason why or how synthetic testosterone showed up in his system. It was more telling on why the system and testing procedure is so screwed up (which I full agree with).
So when I read that he had come out with a doping confession and had implicated others it wasn't a complete shock. It was sad, but not surprising.
I guess I can understand someone feeling guilty and wanting to clear their conscience. I'm sure all of us have done things that we aren't proud of. And to have the courage to come out and say something about it. Knowing full well that you will be a pariah deserves some respect.
The part about all this that bugged me and I just couldn't find it in my heart to forgive was the fact that Floyd took money from innocent people for his own personal gain even though he knew he was guilty. But now that he has come out with his pledge to pay donors back. So know even that part of my feelings towards him is starting to soften. What can I say. I like the guy (or I'm really gullible).
So I guess in this some what long winded kind of way. What I'm saying Floyd is, don't worry about paying me back. I'm good. Live your life the best way you see fit. Be an honorable man. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. And all will be forgiven on my side (as tiny and insignificant as that part is).
Go out there and ride you bike. Keep kicking butt. Everything will eventually turn out OK.
P.S. This is a good ESPN article about all this. You should go read it. It's alright, I'll wait... See. I told you.
Rubber side down,